We all see it happen, but we either uncomfortably look away or worse, we end up thinking its “not a big deal”. Street harassment chips away and threatens the self-worth of men and women who shouldn't have to suffer from such degradation.
Here’s a not so “fun” fun-fact: Over 78% women have experienced sexual harassment in public spaces. A suggestive comment, a sexually explicit touch, an inappropriate gesture, or being followed, are the everyday forms of street harassment that your friend, mother, sister, girlfriend or wife would surely have dealt with.
What is street harassment?
Street harassment includes unwanted whistling, leering, sexist, homophobic or transphobic slurs, persistent requests for someone’s name, number or destination after they’ve said no, sexual names, comments and demands, following, flashing, public masturbation, groping, sexual assault, and rape. Harassment is about power and control and is often a manifestation of social discrimination like sexism, homophobia, islamophobia, classism, ableism and racism. While street harassment often occurs on a more frequent basis for teenagers and women in their 20s, the chance of it happening never goes away and there are multiple stories that are shared by women in their 80s.
Blame game?
Asking your girlfriend to dress “appropriately” and to refrain from wearing revealing clothes because its not safe and you’re only “looking out” for them is something you should never really do. Why is it that men blame women’s clothing for the sexual assault that they face?
“Your bra strap might lure men to rape you”, “Your skin-hugging clothes might lead men to grope you”, “Your bold make up gives a wrong message and might “encourage” men to make an inappropriate pass at you.”
Comments like these make a woman feel guilty for being sexualized by men. Every women, whereever in the world she lives, should have the right to choose whatever she wants. Women in Iran who are fighting against forced hijab and women fighting for their rights to wear a headscarf without being called “raghead” by an anti-Muslim bigot are equally humiliated and offended when they’re either forced to cover their heads or when their head scarf is forcefully removed. Blaming women for their clothes is not doing anything to curb sexual violence, instead it is feeding toxic masculinity. This is not a battle between men and women. This is a fight against the patriarchal mind-set which dictates that women bring it upon themselves by dressing “provocatively”.
“Women have the right to dress however we choose, as long as it's not illegal. Sexual assault and harassment is never the woman’s fault!” - Cindy Sirinya Bishop, a 39 year old host, model, and actress based in Thailand, trying to fight victim-blaming through her social media in order to raise awareness of the fact that dresses do not cause rape, rapists do.
How to respond to it? Yes its uncomfortable, even the emotions like anger, shame, fear - are the textbook response to everyday street harassment. But as long as you know that it's not your fault, its important to realize that it's not your responsibility to have a perfect response to it. Walking with your head held high and responding confidently to harassment will unquestionably make you less vulnerable to street harassment but direct confrontations with people who harass can escalate, particularly if you are alone or in an unpopulated space. The first lesson of every self-defense class is to ignore and get out of that situation specially if you’re alone or in a deserted place. Responding to the harassment is important but its more important to prioritize your safety and wellbeing. Many women feel ashamed and are blamed for the violence committed against them by the very people tasked with protecting them. In spite of #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, there are many women around the world who are afraid to say no to unwanted sexual advances and reluctant to report sexual violations. This is specially the case with the young women. Their right to discover their own sense of womanhood and sexuality are taken away, without their consent.
How do we solve the problem of street harassment?
The first step to end this, is to stop normalizing it. It's about time that we fight back against the normalization and tolerance of all kinds of violence against women. There are no specific laws against verbal street harassment, so it's up to the bystanders to help out the person being harassed. It's not that hard. If you see someone being harassed, instead of looking in the other direction, initiate a conversation with them. “Can you help me please? I’m looking for this direction.” “ Excuse me, is this yours?” Or by standing up to the harasser itself. Women are usually harassed when they’re alone, so by simply acknowledging the crime instead of ignoring it, you are working against the growth of street harassment. The most important step that we desperately need today is educating the next generation about responsibility, values and respect.
Gender based violence has been linked to low self-esteem and depression. Young girls are targeted as they are considered weak. It's time to stand up to street harassment. It's time to make the streets safe. It's time to share the streets equally. Its time to realize that respecting is the best kind of compliment you could ever give to a person.
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