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Tejasvni

Motherhood through a musical lens

Feminism has been intertwined with motherhood since its birth and who better to talk about it than Halsey, having recently given birth after years of struggling with endometriosis and being vocal about her reproductive health. The singer, who goes by she/they pronouns, talks about “the joys and horrors of pregnancy and childbirth” in their latest album “If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power.” And in true Halsey fashion, a concept album isn’t complete without a visual element, which in this case, is an IMAX movie with the same name exploring “the lifelong social labyrinth of sexuality and birth.”

One would expect the album to have a softer, more affectionate theme, much like society expects mothers to be constantly grateful for maternity. It’s almost as if having a child or the ability to have a child is loaned to the mothers and they need to pay off that debt by being loving towards their child at every moment in time. Every child deserves a loving environment but what even contemporary society fails to realise is that pregnancy can be scary.

Every aspect of a woman’s life and body is going through a drastic change. To have the guilt of being terrified pushed down their throat is the last thing they need. “The reason that the album has sort of this horror theme is because this experience, in a way, has its horrors,” Halsey says. “I think everyone who has heard me yearn for motherhood for so long would have expected me to write an album that was full of gratitude. Instead, I was like, ‘No, this is so scary and so horrifying. My body's changing and I have no control over anything.’ Pregnancy for some women is a dream and for some people, it’s a nightmare. That's the thing that nobody else talks about.”

The concept revolves around control, highlighted multiple times throughout the album, extending it to motherhood. Halsey spins this into an intricate web of transformation. They try to highlight the dichotomy of childbirth and desire, which are thought of as polar entities.

Socially, women are reduced to two mutually exclusive categories: you can either be desirable or be motherly. In the current patriarchal paradigm, those two cannot co-exist. Those have been the only two options for centuries. There is no right way to navigate it.


On one side of the line a woman is closing the door on their career and on the other they are closing it on their child, only to be called ungrateful either way. This is exactly the line Halsey is walking, balancing their identity as a performer and a mother, trying to challenge the irony of this pedestal motherhood is built up to be.

Power is subjective. In their interview with Apple Music, the singer interprets it by saying “I start this journey with ‘Okay, fine! If I can't have love, then I want power. If I can't have a relationship, I'm going to work. If I can't be loved interpersonally, I'm going to be loved by millions on the internet, or I'm going to crave attention elsewhere. I'm so steadfast with this mentality and then comes this baby. The irony is that the most power I've ever had is in my agency, being able to choose. You realise, by the end of the record, I chose love.’” Their endeavours to take up control, the choice, the power to decide have culminated in some sort of rewriting of the narrative in the form of a musical record.


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