My interaction with kids is pretty limited. When I do have one, it starts cute, but by the time that the kid is braiding my hair or playing on my phone, I’m over it. I didn’t consider that a character flaw. As if not liking kids was like not loving popcorn, just another socially unacceptable opinion.
Recently though, I’ve changed my mind. Not wanting children of our own is okay, but learning how to interact with children can teach us a lot. I’m not judging. After all, I don’t suddenly enjoy the company of short, stubby tyrants. I realised one thing, though. People say ‘I’m impatient’ and laugh it off way too quickly and I am one of those people. Impatience is not a badge of honour. It isn’t proof of how productively we’re spending our time. The only proof impatience successfully provides, is of our distorted values.
Understanding that is the quickest way to invite patience into our lives and with patience comes the ability to deal with children. I would love to judge parents for iPad parenting, but I know how hard it is to keep kids entertained. In the past, I’ve enjoyed the process only when I approached it with no ego over the importance of my time. It was on the days that I remembered the value of the people that were in the room over my social life online. Seeing WhatsApp group chats as more important than the people in front of me, regardless of their age, is what usually resulted in impatience.
We have a strange habit of lying to children. I think it’s important to note when we’re doing that. If we were interacting with kids on their level, we wouldn’t have to lie about our phones. They wouldn’t feel the need to ask for them in the first place.
One of the best trainers I know reminded me that there was a difference between tolerance and patience. Tolerance often comes from a place of apathy. To gain value from our experiences with anyone, not just children, we need patience. Patience comes from a place of acceptance, empathy and compassion. Without these three, it’s easy to forget that we were once that age as well. It becomes harder to draw the parallels we need to understand and interact with a child.
We’re all at an age where we’re no longer children, and like all adults, there’s a lot we can learn from the little people that don’t have a jaded view of life. Even if all we learn is “how to deal with children”. Just that in itself ends up teaching us a lot.
Until next time,
Charizma
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