Now I’m sure we all recall cracking up to a ‘Sharma ji ke bete’ meme and also forwarding it to our peers while scrolling through Instagram or glancing through random WhatsApp stories and forwards(with all due respect to all individuals who hold the ‘Sharma’ surname). But have we ever really thought about why something that denotes nothing but a simple scenario in the daily life of an Indian household turned out to be so popular in today’s generation? The answer to that is the fact that at a deeper level all of us can personally relate to it. It’s nothing but a social satire on something that has been going on in Indian society for ages and sadly, no matter how much we have progressed, it is still prevalent.
Again, one might now say that no society is a 100% perfect, each has its flaws. So why is this individual rambling on about one such flaw when there are many others that are directly affecting the population? Well, my answer to that would be yes, I agree that this might not seem to be one that might be directly affecting the masses. But that is the mistake that we have been making for the past years and decades. This ignorance has further led to this being a slow poison for our youth, human resources and the very potential of this country to be what it can be. India has been home to academic brilliance for years, from housing 9 Nobel laureates to being the motherland to individuals like Indra Nooyi, Sundar Pichai and Satya Nadella who rule some of the biggest corporations in the modern world. This clearly shows that we have the resources and potential to be one of the leading nations in research and academia. But unfortunately, the harsh reality is that we are not. Now, if anyone of us is asked what the reason(s) behind this might be, we will mostly mention all the usual ones like politics, economy, illiteracy, etc., but will tend to miss out what might be the biggest factor responsible for this, and that happens to be nothing but undue societal pressure.
Every year, children from across the country are handed heavy books and sent to long hours of coaching classes to aspire to become “IIT-ians” or an AIIMS graduate at an age when they should be playing and running around in open fields with open minds, observing nature and questioning its creation and processes and coming up with answers on their own, instead of finding answers to questions printed on pieces of paper. The counter-effects of this can be explained by both scientific and psychological approaches. The scientific one being the fact that this largely hampers the cognitive development of a child, stunting the development and enhancement of some of the most important factors like innovative thinking, creativity and basic problem-solving abilities. The cognitive one’s are the fact that this introduces “overachieving” tendencies or thoughts amongst these children at a very early age. These children grow up to be “perfectionists” at a world where we all the know the harsh reality that nothing can be absolutely perfect. Life is nothing but a roller-coaster ride with everyone having their own shares of ups as well as downs. This eventually leads to depression, frustration and anxiety amongst these children when they step on to the real world.
Another prevalent yet highly flawed ideology in our society is that of depriving these young budding minds of all forms of luxury and pleasures in life and sending them away from homes to “avoid distraction”. I’m sure we all have watched or at least heard of ‘Kota Factory’ when it had released on YouTube almost two years back. Other than being one of the brilliantly written Indian web series of that time, another reason why it ended up having such a massive viewership was the fact that while watching it, every engineering and medical student as well professionals could at some level relate to it. We have all been a part of that same old system in one way or the other. Every year lakhs and crores of such children are sent away from their homes to these places like Kota where they are made to stay in a small room with a small bed, study table and if fortunate enough, a window as well, in a toxically competitive neighborhood where everyone is toiling day and night for that one race. The entire objective behind this being to ensure that there is absolutely no means of distraction and the shear hope that this deprivation gives the student nothing else to do other than study. Now, from a psychological point of view, compare this scenario to that of a prison facility or a rehabilitation center. In such places, the principle objective is to make sure that their candidates are made to focus on their ultimate goal that is rehabilitation while making sure that all connections to the outside world are temporarily cut off to prevent any interruption or hindrance of any sort. Do you see a similarity? With the ultimate goal here being getting into the best college/university and the same reason behind cutting off contact with the outside world being to prevent hindrance or interruption in the process. I guess now we all can agree how sorrowful it is to realize that our society feels that having fun and leading the life of a normal adolescent is equivalent to the crimes committed by a convict or addict, and once asked what is the end result of such a price that is paid, it is the same old “toil now and live a luxurious life later”. We are all highly familiar with many such related quotes like “just work hard and get into an IIT and then your life is set”. This is not only very incorrect in reality but also gives the student a very incorrect set of life lessons. We have heard about and seen many such scenarios wherein young hardworking students having a lot of potential after getting into their dream college/university, eventually end their careers by indulging into drugs and other forms of addiction. This is a resultant consequence of two reasons- one being the fact that these false promises of working hard till they achieve their dream college implants this flawed idea in their heads that once they enter their “dream” or target college/university, their career is under control or in other words “set” and hence, they can go about doing whatever they feel like henceforth, whereas in reality we all know that it isn’t. Second being the fact that when these students realize the reality behind these false promises, it takes a massive toll on their mental health, leading them to take the route of addiction as an escape from reality.
Now, I am not the only one to elucidate this issue in our society. Many have previously spoken about the above issues in public platforms. So, before I end, I would like to put forth an exclusive opinion of my very own which I feel is a wide misconception related to this issue. Many a times before, when this very issue has been spoken about, it has been seen that the main culprits who have been blamed for this have always been Indian parents. But it is my opinion and belief that this is incorrect. They are as much a victim to this as the students are. Now, to understand this better let us visualize a small scenario wherein we are an Indian parent and we have a child who is pursuing her/his plus two-level education. We go to work every morning to support our family and the only topics that we hear our colleagues discuss are the future of their children, where they are sending them for coaching, which universities their children are targeting, which profession has prospects, etc. Wouldn’t it be natural for you as a parent who wants nothing but the welfare of your child to get intimidated by this environment and then go back home and pressurize your child to study. It is a very wrong conception that Indian parents portray their children to be “trophies” so that they can boast about them at community gatherings. No parent is that evil. Our parents have sacrificed their luxuries and worked hard all their lives to ensure that we get the best education so that we can do even better than them and afford all the luxuries that they couldn’t provide us or even enjoy themselves. For such a parent, it is highly justifiable to get intimidated by such a toxic environment. This brings us a full circle back to the very topic of this article. “Sharma ji ka beta” is a social satire that points out this very concept in our society wherein our parents continually compare us to the “perfect” individual who might be our neighbor, father’s colleague’s son, family friend, etc. so that we get triggered to achieve something equally big and they can boast back to their “Sharma ji”. Even though this is relatable and accurate, it indirectly targets the Indian parents of this society. This intimidating environment leaves the Indian parents in panic and dilemma leading them in taking impulsive decisions for their children like sending them away in areas deprived of all luxuries and pleasures to be able to compete with the cut-throat competition, as according to our society that happens to be the only means of achieving any form of success in this world.
With this, I would like to conclude by stating that yes, hard work is indeed the most necessary ingredient behind achieving one’s goal. But so is passion and most importantly taking care of one’s own mental health. It is our duty as the future of our society to change this toxic mentality and support implementation of values and qualities such as innovative thinking, practical problem solving, positive attitudes and ethical working amongst our young ones at their early stages instead of sending them off to hours of coaching for cracking entrance exams. Let us help build a nation wherein the children are encouraged to be the thinkers, innovators, inventors and entrepreneurs of the next generation rather than putting them in the next line of money-hungry individuals with a mere selfish goal of having a luxurious future. Let children enjoy their childhood since no amount of money or educational degree can ever buy the enlightenment that one has during childhood once it is lost.
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