If that isn’t the most BuzzFeed article title, then I don’t know what is. This week I’ve decided to share advice that has personally helped me over the last few years. I often find life advice to be increasingly obvious. I believe it’s because to some extent, we all know what we should be doing. It’s the implementation part that we either forget or don’t understand. Here are 5 practical ways that I use to make my life easier, I hope they serve as a reminder or motivation to make yours easier too.
1. Just say you’re not interested.
It’s astounding how much we tiptoe around people in our quest to belong. So many of us have trouble refusing things, whether it be responsibilities, favours or even invitations to hangout. I’ve suffered at some point in all three aspects. I’ve faced burnouts from indiscriminatingly accepting opportunities, late nights from favours that I didn’t need to offer or agree to but did so out of ‘kindness’, and the amount of times I’ve been a part of hangouts that I had no interest in is pretty laughable. I quickly realised that it was imperative that I learned to say no and not feel guilty saying it. I had full expectations of losing some friends as soon as I started doing it but that quite literally did not happen. So, after a full 3 years declining invitations, work and favours when I was otherwise swamped, I can assure you that it changes nothing except your amount of useless workload. Make your life easier, be blunt. Don’t justify yourself, just say you’re not interested.
2. Do things that help you expand , that increase your opportunity.
On that note, let’s move on to the hard part of declining excess opportunities or making decisions in general. What decision should you make when it comes to choosing between opportunities? Now if you’re the kind of person who already knows what they’re passionate about and how they can use that skill to make money, congrats, this advice is not for you. If you’re anything like me and a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none, here’s what helps me. Choose what helps you expand, gives you more opportunities and feels like growth. It’s likely hard for you to picturise exactly what your future looks like and that’s okay. Build Identity capital. As long as you’re learning and growing in any direction, life will start to figure itself out. At the very least you might realise that the direction isn’t for you and change lanes.
3. Music is powerful, choose wisely.
I never understood what people meant when they said music saved their life until it saved mine. Some people find it cathartic to listen to sad songs, I personally find it easier to deal with, and escape sad phases by listening to trashy pop songs. Whatever works better for you is fine. Here’s a lesser-known piece of advice though. Music is too powerful, it’s easy to lose yourself in a spiral of sad music that is no longer just cathartic when you’re sad but is also the reason you’re staying sad. Don’t keep listening to music that makes your life feel lacklustre. Find a playlist that does the opposite too. Please.
4. The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't work out but I'm glad I had them.
That’s a quote from The Bridges of Madison County and it’s one of my favourites. I had a dream of acing the civil services exam for the entirety of my high school life. I’d studied a little bit, made all kinds of castles in the air and told just about anyone I met. It took me a great deal of struggle to accept that it just wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore. In fact, deciding otherwise felt like I was cheating my younger self or just being plain lazy and unambitious. That quote turned it from a failed life plan that I felt guilty for abandoning to an old passion that I cherished the memory of. I’m adding it to this list in the hopes that it helps someone else let go of their old dreams gracefully too.
5. Your value is more than that one thing.
A large hello to my fellow self-saboteurs that procrastinate and give themselves no time to actually succeed to their full potential. In particular, those that paralyse their capacity to work from how big they make the task in their head. I recently spent two days to change the colours in a poster because I turned a five-minute, irrelevant job into proof of my design capacity. Your value is more than that one job. It’s something I often have to remind myself. It is better to present complete work on time than perfect work after 5 different people have asked you to send it in or it’s five minutes before an unchangeable deadline. Being a perfectionist is neither strength nor weakness, it’s just a cause of unnecessary stress. Believe me, you have already over analysed your work far more than anyone else will. Let it go.
Those were the 5 thought processes that have helped make my life easier. Feel free to comment with some that did the same to yours.
Until next time,
Charizma
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