Misogyny is everywhere, unfortunately. The word, which literally means contempt of women, was once a radical accusation. It’s now unremarkable to find “misogyny” in a headline, much less a tweet.
"I’m not like other girls."
Internalized misogyny has a judgmental and confined view of femininity and womanhood where, in order to be independent, challenge the existence of other women. It adjudges womanhood as a battle rather than collaboration, and overlooks the diversity and complexity in independent existence.
Women began to internalize the hatred and objectification that they see around them. It seeps under the skin and affects how women view themselves and the women around them. They look at other women and start judging on the basis of how men perceive you/other women. They start asking questions like, “Why is she wearing so much makeup?”, “How can she wear clothes like that?”, “How is she still unmarried at this age? ”, among thousand other questions that demean women, and deduce them.
So here are things internalized misogyny ruined and why we need to reclaim them.
1. Strong Female Friendships
Internalized misogyny has reproduced a toxic culture that pits women against each other. Pushing the idea “who wore it better?”, or saying things like “Boys are better friends than girls”, “Who wears red lipstick”, “Her dressing style is so tacky”.
The very idea that women can support each other’s success and exist as mutually empowered individuals upsets the patriarchal hegemony of society. As a result, we are brought up to feel like the world is against us, that women are “dramatic” and cited as “emotional and sensitive”.
2. Feminism
“Feminism is bullshit”, “ I believe in equality”, “Women just pretend to be feminists to lure him”. From celebrities to influencers, and probably somebody you know, women refuse to identify as feminists because they begin to perceive the movement as a man-hating mission that is promoting female supremacy.
3. Fashion
For some, clothing has no gender while for others, gendered clothing is essential in challenging gender dysphoria. Shaming women that choose to show off more skin or others that choose to cover up is misogynistic. “Why is she wearing that color”, “She shouldn’t have worn any clothes if she is wearing that short skirt”, “She looks so fat in those clothes”. The assumption that women that choose to wear more “revealing” clothing are doing it for male validation is horrendous and hurts the very essence of womanhood.
4. Relationships
We often hear stories of household abuses imparted on women by other women. Comments like “Can she cook and clean ”, “How will she manage both work and her house”, “She’s just a house maker, she’s useless”. Not only these remarks ruin relationships but also directly impacts women in an irreparable manner. Living in an environment where you have hear all these things on the daily can be really demotivating and have a greater impact mentally and sometimes physically.
Women bringing women down was never cool and never will be. Feminism is about actively confronting your biases to make room for inclusive, accepting, and diverse perspectives on womanhood. It’s time we look within ourselves and kill our inner misogynist, slowly but strongly.
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