"You have a terrible figure to wear a dress like that."
"You’re not cool enough."
"You are ugly, no one likes you."
If we say such things to anyone, it would be considered bullying. Yet, we always tell this to ourselves. We talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to other people. We acknowledge these words and believe them as truth which keeps us away from fulfilment and happiness.
We tiptoe our way through life by doing things to please others, not because we believe in it. Eventually, our attitude, appearance, and life inevitably are influenced by how we think other people perceive us. What will my colleagues think if I say this? Are those people talking shit behind my back? What will society think if I do this?
Once we start depending on what other people think about us, we start tailoring our lives to accommodate people's expectations. We live in others' minds, and all it does is make us judge ourselves more brutally. It makes us live according to people’s expectations. It makes us feel inauthentic. Anxious. Judgmental.
The truth is, other people’s opinions about us are none of our business. Their opinions have nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, their judgments, their expectations, their preferences. I could stand in front of ten strangers and speak on any topic. Some will completely comprehend what I have to say, and others will misinterpret my words. Some will forget me as soon as they depart, others will remember me for years.
Each of them will get the exact same me. Their opinions of me will vary. And that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. Regardless of what I do, some people will never like me. Regardless of what I do, some people will always like me. And it’s none of my business. No matter what you do, one or another part of society will criticize you, so isn't it better to do something which satisfies you?
If someone ignores you, you feel bad. However, the truth is, nobody has control over how you feel. If someone ignores you and you assign meaning to that action. You had an emotional reaction to a thought developed by yourself. The truth is that you are the only person who can hurt your feelings. To change how other people’s actions make you feel, you only need to change how you develop your thoughts.
The bottom line is, life is short. Do you really want to waste even a second by worrying about what other people think? Or live a life where others tell you what you want? Or should you decide for yourself who you truly are? You must make a deliberate effort to let go what other people think.
People will like you; people will hate you, and none of it has anything to do with you.
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