On March 3rd, a young woman, Sarah Everard was walking home to Brixton, UK, from her friend’s house when she mysteriously disappeared. Little did her loved ones know that that was the last anyone would have heard from her. Numerous search parties later, human remains were found in woodland, Kent which were later found to be Everard’s through her dental records. To make matters worse, Wayne Couzens, a police officer, was arrested on suspicion of her murder.
Her disappearance and murder sparked outrage and anger and is yet another heartbreaking instance of the world failing at protecting its women. Ironically, as people celebrated International Women’s Day on March 8th, this distressing news took many concerned users to Twitter to express their shock at her vanishing, and concern for their own safety. Many women also came forward with their own experiences of harassment and fear at being out and about on the streets.
But shortly after, the ‘not all men’ hashtag began trending, sadly even above Sarah Everard. The hashtag which had originally started as a response to the #MeToo movement was filled with many insisting that not all men attack women. Not only is this hashtag damaging, but it also shifts the conversation from the real issue at hand-violence against women.
Yes, every woman knows that not all men are dangerous, but unfortunately, it is all women who feel threatened. So even if it 1 out of 10 men that are bad, there is no way of knowing for sure who is out there to do harm. Women go out of their way to ensure their safety, by having their keys at hand while walking alone, walking in well-lit areas, sending their live locations to a friend, wearing running shoes while walking late at night, pretending to be on call in taxis, and these are just a few among the countless precautions women everywhere take. So, when some men shift the focus of women’s safety into one to protect their own reputation, it is the equivalent to #AllLivesMatter when the focus was on Black Lives.
The hashtag was soon taken over by women and men alike, calling out the damage that the hashtag was creating. Many are urging men to understand the severity of the situation instead of getting defensive over their own image. Women are also using the hashtag to narrate their own accounts of sexual assault and violence.
Some wonderful men also came in support to ask what they can do to make women feel safer. In response, women on Twitter are sharing little things that men can do to keep the roads safer such as leaving space while walking behind, making themselves heard in order to not give a scare, and moving to the other side of the street.
The recent events should be an eye-opener for men everywhere rather than using this as an excuse to rush in defense. We simply want men to listen and understand how frightening things are for a woman. Educate yourself and those around you, and call out bad behavior when you see it. So yes, we know not all men are bad, but all men can make a difference. Sarah could have been any of us. And it is our duty to ensure that this does not happen to one more person. To everyone around, we must reframe the narrative and, we must do better.
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