Happiness is such an arbitrary emotion and a lot of people fall into the trap of trying to turn it into a primary goal. “I just want to be happy.” I’ve heard that statement and felt that statement more times than I can count.
Happiness, however, is not entirely controlled by what we do. It’s dependant on a bunch of hormones in our body and is inherently a biological byproduct. Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Endorphins, these four are essentially what make us happy.
Dopamine is a motivator to practically every addiction out there. It’s our brain’s reward system but it is also incredibly easy to trick. Message notifications boost dopamine. Accomplishing a task, hitting a target and being kind also do the same but if the goal is to be happy, there’s a lot of easier, non-productive and addictive routes; like, drinking, drugs, gambling and shopping.
While dopamine is technically the easiest happy hormone to trigger and the one that can work against us the most. Even the others don’t require anything particularly complex. Exercise releases endorphins and so does a great tv show. Oxytocin is the warm and fuzzy hormone that’s triggered by cuddles and pets, and might be part of the reason you’re invested in ‘fixing’ a bad relationship. A good tryptophan heavy diet, exercise, supplements and a massage can release serotonin.
I’m not trying to imply that it’s easy to be happy. It’s really not. But if these hormones were always in our system, our bodies would get acclimatised to them and need even more to feel good. Which means we cannot biologically be happy; we can only occasionally feel happy and that feeling is biologically wired to come and go. This is why we call depression a mental illness, a phenomenon when that happy feeling and those hormones are rarely ever felt or produced, and why depression is not even mildly similar to feeling very sad.
That brings us back to my initial point, for healthy humans, being happy or sad is simply a part of life and neither is a destination. It is extremely important for the goals we set to be achievable and realistic. No wonder people complain that happiness always seems elusive. It is! It doesn’t stay. It is a well-known fact that happiness comes when we are satisfied and comfortable and growth comes when we are not. We need both in our lives. Satisfaction and happiness are both extremely overrated in modern society. The less we desire, the happier and more satisfied we’ll be, right? Well, yes. However, the world doesn’t run because of people that don’t desire anything. The world runs because we desire, we strive, we want more and we are not satisfied. Like everything else, moderation and balance are key here as well. That’s the hard part but don’t let anyone confuse you with their happiness logic. You’re not alone if you’re confused by the statement “Do what makes you happy.” when that statement is the very reason you watch Netflix all day.
Until next time,
Charizma
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