As we grow up, we hear cases of assaults, abuse, and we often relate them as sexual abuse, physical abuse or mental abuse too. But what we are not made aware or taught from the beginning is that human beings can get prone to emotional abuse too. Yes, you heard it right. We all know emotions play a crucial role in a person's life. They are basically the in-charge of your activities, your happiness and your sadness.
Emotional abuse can feel as destructive and damaging as physical abuse, sometimes even more by impacting our mental health. These abusers use it to maintain power and control over someone. It might even include other sorts of abuse like sexual, financial or physical. However, it does not need to include these kinds to be counted as abuse, it's serious enough on its own to be a concern.
I shall help you provide some insight to what kind of emotional abuses you might be facing in life, or have ever faced or just to make you aware so that if you ever do face it, you know what is happening and you can take measures to protect yourself.
Emotional abuse can be of the following types:
Verbal abuse - verbally insulting you, yelling at you.
Rejection - constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas or opinions.
Gaslighting - making you doubt your own feelings, your thoughts and even your sanity by very cleverly manipulating the truth.
Putting down - calling you names, telling you that you're stupid, not good enough, blaming you for everything, public humiliation, abuse on social media, putting down in front of peers.
Causing fear - make you feel threatened or intimidated.
Lockdown/isolation - limiting your freedom, cutting your social circle.
Intimidation - purposely saying things to hurt you. Hitting your weak spot.
The scars of emotional abuse are long-lasting and real. They can leave a person in a pit of anxiety and depression. Especially after gaslighting, the person now himself/herself starts blaming themselves for everything wrong that had happened in their lives. Their denial of their basic emotions gets so much validation from the abuser, that now they start denying their emotions themselves. Their abuser makes them believe that being their own self is no less than a crime. This can leave one's self-esteem, self-confidence shattered leading the person into depression, anxiety or even suicidal tendencies. They constantly feel that they don't fit in. And no matter what they do, it always ends up wrong. And this was what their abuser wanted them to believe. Because they are often narcissists who need to feel power over their abusers who might have been trapped in their love cycle due to all the love-bombing that they do in the initial phases. The victim falls in love with that person. And now, even when the narcissist starts showing their true colours, the victim gets confused and works to bring back the person they were in love before because they feel that they have the potential. It's all a toxic cycle. Where the controller sits outside of it trapping the victim in the vicious loop of abuse. They reject and come back and keep abusing. But the victim gets so used to those "live crumbs" that they shower every now and then that they keep getting abused.
Now, it's very common to get in a trap like this. To become a victim of a narcissist's emotional abuse. But the question arises when you realize that it is happening, what should you do?
Very easy to say but difficult to follow, break off the cycle. Leave the person, the firm or whoever is the abuser. If it's your family, maintain as much distance as possible. It's important to seek help. Vent out to a confidant. Meet a therapist. Come to know about yourself and what you were facing. It is very important to know your own self. To protect yourself. It's fine to be empathetic. But without boundaries, an empath only gets abused.
Remember, the worst enemy of a narcissist is an educated empath. You don't always have to learn it the hard way. Educate yourself, set boundaries and let no one tell you otherwise. Someone who really loves you and respects you shall also respect your boundaries.
If this helps even one person, I'll be glad.
Power to anyone and everyone who has ever faced emotional abuse. Heal.
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