My Journal
15-10-2019
I woke up early morning at around 5 a.m., with anxiety shooting up inside me. I had to look my best today. I had been waiting for this day for a very long time and now that the day had arrived, there were butterflies in my belly.No matter how much everyone denies it, every college student waits for this day for their entire 4 years in college. Yes, it was our farewell today.
College was coming to an end and all we had with us were thousands of emotions and experiences-happy and sad. Who knew that the place that we once dreaded would now be so close to our hearts that it will be almost impossible to leave. Each corner of the campus, each shop outside the gate, each building we hung out, each class we took. How in the blink of an eye, the entire phase would just pass by.
I washed my face and woke my roommate up. Yes, it was a daily task for me for almost 4 years now and what I once abhorred, would now be missed so badly. We had to get our outfits ironed, get all the accessories and footwear and also find friends who would be free to help us get dressed. This day was important, and for the thousands of pictures which we were about to take, we wanted to look at our best. Batch photographs were to be taken in the afternoon, but we couldn’t wait to see how our friends looked in suits and sarees, so we left our hostels as soon as we could. Virtual invitations to juniors were already sent out the previous day and my phone had started getting flooded with calls.
The moment we stepped out of our blocks, we could see the crowd clustered everywhere, clicking pictures, complimenting their friends, giggling, smiling and some struggling to hold up their sarees. Indeed it was their first time to a whole new transition of life that awaited them. The footways to TT and DC were so jammed, it was difficult to even get through the crowd to find your own friends. Everyone was in a rollercoaster of emotions, glammed up in their shining armour. The gym workouts had finally paid off. Freshers were somehow managing space behind TT to get to their classes while sophomores and third years were dressed up too, rushing to their favourite seniors to catch a click. I took some time for myself and loitered around Amul and Smv. For all these years in college, each area of campus had started to hold a special memory in our lives. We even knew the exact location of the CCTV cameras or for the matter of fact the location of our beloved red tag annas. The Smv circle would be a meeting point for friends, the SMV tank a freehub for meetings of clubs, the SMV backside a full house for TMI giving their speeches and after 7 pm, FC, Amul or Juice shop would be the only saviour for most of us, as we know the rules. I roamed here and there to relive these moments which seemed to be slipping too quickly from our hands. I reached Foodys and a tear or so dwelled up in my eyes-the constant loud music and hooting of the dance club people, the cake smashing and the birthday celebrations and most importantly the couples having their favourite moments-all came running through my mind. Then I traversed to MB-oh the serenity in front of the fountains after dusk gave the best feels. I could still see students gathered here and there saying cheese and posing in front of the camera. Some even took polaroids, because photography club indeed captured the best shots. Kalpana Chawla ground has indeed given most of us our most aesthetic shots and profile pictures. Then I went towards the backside of MB-the ATM that helped us survive these 4 years, the music room with the sound of drums blaring out from it, the basketball and volleyball court where everyone would sit and gaze at others playing and most importantly the Control Room.CR brought back a plethora of memories-Riviera and Gravitas. The perfect execution and the countless sleepless nights behind it and every bit of fun we had and every ounce of exhaustion we faced-everything flooded my mind. Oh, how much was I gonna miss this place! I went a little further to glance at the last place-GDN, house of the civil and mechanical students. Well, Chettinad’s amazing treatment(no pun intended), GDN’s isolation, CDMM’s extra isolation and Main Canteen’s Dosa were some of the many things students connected them to. I had already come this far and I had no energy left in me to use the shortcut and go to Allmart. Moreover, I didn’t even want to explore outside the campus cause I already had teared up a little. Doing that would just ruin my make-up even more. Before I could delve into my thoughts more, a call distracted me. I had to run back immediately to TT to get our batch photo clicked.
The day went pretty well, it was tiring indeed. For the next three days, we had to repeat the same ritual as all our friends were from different branches and what better reason to get dressed up other than a farewell. Most of our friends were leaving this semester for internships. They had very few weeks left to wrap up everything and bid goodbye to everyone. But at the back of our minds, we were very sure that we would meet soon and this journey was not over yet.
05-12-2019
My best friend had finished packing everything and her cab was waiting downstairs. Most of my friends had already left by now. After an entire episode of crying and hugging, she finally sat in the car, rolled down the window and said,” We will meet in the convocation, get our degree, fly our hats and then cry.Save it for then, bye love you all” and swooshed past us.
Three-four remaining people came back to their empty rooms to get on with their Capstone projects.
15-03-2020
“Dear Students,
Change in vacation schedule due to Covid-19 Pandemic”, said the mail with a pdf attached. My heart skipped a beat. College was shut down for an indefinite period. There was chaos in the campus, all my peers were crying and astonished as we weren’t ready for this. We weren’t prepared or expecting our college to end this way, this soon. Until now, each passing day was difficult but numbered. All that we wanted to explore, the remaining time we had with our friends and our college, we wanted to spend it in the best possible way. But this was unprecedented, and there were so many things we still wanted to do. We were just not ready yet to end things this suddenly, we weren’t ready to let go. More than sobs, there were silent tears as we were very uncertain about the future. Whether or not we would return to college for that one last time, whether or not we will get to fly our hats, whether this, whether that. COVID proved to be a major setback to the class of 2020. But in the end, we all had hope and sincerely wished that convocation would be on campus with our teachers and parents present, no matter what.
23-09-2020
COVID has indeed been a very difficult time. Many of my friends have lost their jobs and are looking for new ones and most of them didn’t even receive their joining dates from their respective companies. It had been 200 days since we last left our hostels and work from home had now become the new norm. We hadn’t met or seen our friends in ages. Everyone was going through mental trauma and stress in these trying times and they started getting impatient missing their college. It was on this day, near about noon when we received mail. The subject read 35th Annual convocation-Reg. My fingers went numb before opening it and I was hesitant to do so. Finally, I clicked on it. The convocation was going to be held online via Microsoft Live. Can you believe that?4 years of college over just like that. I had already started getting WhatsApp notifications from my friends. Of course, everyone was pissed, hurt but helpless. There were people who were raging and others had a range of opinions stating out the pros and cons. Initially, we did have hope but slowly with the worsening of conditions, we started losing hope bit by bit and this mail was certainly a dead end to all our expectations.
07-10-2020
A few days after we received the mail, I actually sat down and reflected everything in my mind and decided to write this down. Convocation was not only a dream for me or my friends but also a dream for our parents to see us get our degree on stage, wearing the graduation gown while we graduate. I know we all are stuck in the middle of a pandemic, struggling and fighting our own battles but this day and this phase that we cross will not come back ever again. There will be no second convocation in this same place, in this same moment. It is in these small moments that we live for, these small memories that we look forward to, to give a conclusion to the chapters of a story we started 4 years ago. To a story played as characters by people around us, to a plot that kept changing every time and we learned to adapt to it, and to most importantly the set where we truly and honestly got a chance to grow and a place to learn. It is in these things that we realise, Class of 2020 never got a perfect ending to their storybook.
-written from the perspective of a final year student
By Sukanya Dutta
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