We've often heard and read quotes like "It is often the biggest smile hiding the saddest hearts" or "The saddest people always have the most beautiful smiles", but we don't understand, we don't get the depth of what they say. Obviously, it's not anyone's fault. The person we see is sad, the person who is openly telling about their problems to others, we tend to notice them. In a crowd of frowning people, a smiling person shall look least prone to help. Well, some people carry a tremendous amount of pain in their hearts and still smile because they find it easier to smile than to explain their pain to anyone.
We often stay with a person for years, someone who is so jolly all the time, someone who is full of life and always keen to help others, that we automatically tend to think that this person is the happiest out there. We start comparing our lives with them and wish if we had a similar one.
There are so many people out there who look happy but struggle with depression on a serious level. We often tend to link depression with a person who is sad, who is an introvert, who lives in his own life, doesn't talk to people around. They are depicted as bedridden and incapable of functioning. What may or may not be surprising is, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, that approximately 10% of the United States population is suffering from depression, which is ten times more than those suffering from bipolar disorder (1%) and schizophrenia (1%).
There are so many cases, when people are functioning just fine, managing their day-to-day lives, and chirpy. They're keeping people around them happy, without knowing that they are depressed.
There are people who when they come to know that they have depression are way too surprised. In fact, not a lot of us are aware of the term "smiling depression ". The definition of smiling depression is: appearing happy to others, literally smiling, while internally suffering from depressive symptoms.
This often goes undetected for very long periods, and there are times when the brain and body of these people try to tell them that they're suffering, is when these people don't acknowledge it due to the fear of being called "weak".
Some people often smile a lot to hide their sadness. This sadness can be due to anything - a failed relationship, a lost job, the death of a family member, a childhood accident, a lack of purpose in their life etc. Often these people manifest a feeling over time that something isn't right.
These people often suffer from irritability, anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, fatigue or despair. You can refer to it as a mask. People suffering from smiling depression may provide no hint of their problem to the outside world. They often maintain a full-time job, run a family household, participate in sports, and have a fairly active social life. Everything looks great and perfect. However, underneath the mask, they are suffering from sadness, panic attacks, low self-esteem, insomnia, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
The positive note about this is that it can be treated. It's just like it's hard for these people to go and get medicated themselves. So if you suspect your loved one to be suffering, help is available through counselling, psychotherapies and treatment. People often tend to take it in a negative way when you tell them about it because they just want to believe that they're fine since they're smiling. It's normal. Depression might sound like a serious and extreme word, and they view getting help as a sign of weakness which they're very scared of.
What is more important, is that apart from treatment, these people must open up about their issues around closed ones. Start by opening up to those around them. Choosing one close family member, friend, or confidant, and making it a practice to discuss feelings and concerns can help alleviate symptoms. It's important not to be concerned about being a burden.
Ignoring a problem won't ever fix it. What we must understand is that accepting that we're suffering and approaching for help is not weak, but it is the biggest strength.
After 10 years of my life, and still, I am convincing myself that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to cry at times and let go of all the fears.
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