How many times have we just lost it and said something that we have regretted later? Most of us have burned many bridges and hurt many close friends in a flash second. All due to a sentence or a word that we didn’t really mean but just blurted out of your mouth at that point. In the past this single emotion has caused meaningless wars which could have been prevented loss of life on a large scale. Scarring many innocent lives and tearing many families apart. Despite it’s cute appearance in the movie ‘Inside Out’, it has a very long and dark history for causing many mishaps in human history and hurting countless souls. It goes by the name ‘anger’ and once you’ve controlled it you’ve won half of lives’ battles.
However, anger is a quite normal and even a healthy emotion since it helps you blow off stress, ease the mind of certain worries and even helps you cope with certain things or events— but it's important to deal with it in a positive way or else everything goes wayward in a matter of seconds. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships. Gaining control over your anger and knowing how to express it, is the healthiest way to deal with this emotion.
Let’s get that hot head of yours to cool down shall we? Let’s start by considering these 10 tips.
1. Think before you speak
Didn’t mean to say that? Then don’t! In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something regrettable. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything during those tense situations — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly , express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way so that the other person involved isn’t intimidated. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. This absolutely necessary since suppressing your anger instead will only lead you to harm yourself and surround yourself in toxic relationships with the people you once cherished.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. After all taking out the heat while burning calories is quite a win-win situation.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
A few strange ways you could control your anger in heated situations that have been found to be effective by many according to the internet :-
1. Count down backwards from 10 to 0.
2. Write down whatever you wanted to tell the person you were angry at and sort the issue out with them later. (This ensures that you don’t spoil the relationship you two have with a few silly words.)
3. Bury your face inside a pillow and scream your lungs out. (This also helps in relieving stress)
4. Breaking inanimate objects or already broken goods.(Writing your frustrations on a plate and smashing it to bits, has been found effectively calming to many.)
5. Throwing paint on a canvas or painting random brush stroke or rather painting pictures or words while verbally venting the cause of your frustration has also been noticed to calm people down.
6. There are specific cafes or places that deal with venting out anger, where people pay people to allow them to use their establishment to break objects or hurl foul language in order to cool down.
Letting your anger out in a controlled and healthy way without hurting anybody else’s feelings is appreciated and encouraged, as it helps us vent and distress and learn and cherish the better things in life rather than losing out on them due to a few bitter words.
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